"Survivor" Texas Style

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceedup to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From therethey will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that reads: "I'm Gay," "I love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012" and "I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.

God Bless Texas

Beck's Principles

Glenn Beck posted the following principles on his website, that all patriotic Americans ought to share with their families and friends. If we all go back to living by Beck's principles, America can be turned around and control of this nation can be wrested from those who would bring this country down and to it's knees.

____________

Beck's Principles

• America is good
• I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life
• I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday
• The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government
• If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it
• I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results
• I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
• It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion
• The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
  

And the 12 values are:

• Honesty
• Reverence
• Hope
• Thrift
• Humility
• Charity
• Sincerity
• Moderation
• Hard work
• Courage
• Personal responsibility
• Friendship

http://www.glennbeck.com/

Barak Ob-urkel

The Priest, Nancy & Harry

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years He had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die", whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."Nancy couldn't help but agree.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Nancy’s hand in his right hand and Harry’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy spoke.

"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

The old priest continued... "He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."

Barack Obama's Nobel Peace Prize

Barak Obama is on the list of this year's candidates for a Nobel Peace Prize. While he has yet to accomplish anything of importance or that is remarkable on issues regarding war and peace. Then again, if Al Gore can get a Nobel Peace Prize, who's to say Obama cannot be awarded one? Obama is vastly more poplular than Al Gore ever was. I predict that Obama will be seriously considered for the prize, if not actually awarded one. After all, it is the politically correct thing to do.